Observer

The last 3 months was quiet. I mean on the social media for us. It definitely wasn’t quiet with a toddler running around at home, at granny’s, in Budapest and in Transylvania. We had the opportunity to travel home and that pulled me back to an observer position when it came to social media. It was interesting. Mostly because I thought I would return in October. But God!

In August we had a lot to prepare for our journey ahead, so I just hung up my business hat and put my mommy/wife/daughter/friend hats and tried to prepare our family and our hearts to this adventure.

In September during our journey was my only goal to get where we needed to get and keep at least my morning meetings with the Lord. It was tough, but was worth it. I - unintentionally - became an observer of my friends and family as well. How do they live their lives, how do they cope with this insane amount of stress factors what are hitting their daily lives? It was exhausting to just even watch them. I often caught myself thinking about how deeply we all need God’s grace. Every. Single. Day.

And at the moment when our car stopped in Glasgow at our home, I felt in my spirit our Lord’s next step for me: it is time for you to rest. But how can I? I left out so much. I need to work, I need to produce, I need to do SOMETHING. Thoughts of being lazy, not doing what God called me to do, being disobedient to my calling and in general to God flooded my brain. Satan wanted to rob my peace. Ohh and I gave in for 3 long weeks beating myself up with these lies and having a really deep feeling of being lost, being inadequate, being an impostor. The only thing what I was constantly doing was complaining about this situation to God in prayer and in worship. Why God? Why can’t I just make myself go on and do the things you called me to do? And one morning it hit me. I was disobedient. But not towards my calling in creating. I was disobedient to follow His clear message to rest. So I finally got there. And in that rest in the presence of the Lord I had heard more clearly about His vision for my business, His plans for the next season, His guidance how to pursue these new steps and new ways of creating. I finally got the meetings what I so foolishly ignored. I had meetings with my ultimate CEO.

I will let you know shortly about these new and interesting journeys where God is calling me in these days, but I would like to to leave a word of encouragement here first.

“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience. For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

Hebrews 4:9-13

I am grateful for having these months in the position of an observer so I could have seen and experience God’s priorities over my own very-very shortsighted ones. Because it is always bears more fruit to spend time with God and in His Word than any work or labor of men can produce. Glory to Him, who has prepared sufficient grace for all of us, for every situation we might face.